“Saturday Night Live” returning host Matt Damon made a comeback as beer-loving Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh during the cold open … and the sketch turned into a full-on MAGA boys’ night out.

Damon’s Kavanaugh linked up with ‘SNL’ regular Colin Jost — doing his infamous Pete Hegseth impression — at a bar, where the two puffed up their political resumes … joking about ending abortion rights and casually “starting wars” like it was no big deal.

But Kavanaugh quickly got emotional over what he called the country’s real emergency … lonely dudes with nobody left to crush drinks with.

The sketch went completely off the rails when Aziz Ansari entered as FBI Director Kash Patel … his eyes bulging as he screams, “Does this bar take Kash?!” … while carrying personalized bourbon bottles with his own name engraved on them.

Ansari’s Patel cracked jokes about getting mistaken for a kid with a fake ID because of his bug-eyed official photos … before bragging he’s still living the American dream by partying years after college graduation.

Things got even crazier when Damon’s Kavanaugh grilled Kash Patel over rumors he’s so paranoid he’s making FBI staffers take polygraph tests … but Ansari’s Patel swerved hard into pure chaos, joking he actually wanted a chart of everyone at the FBI who’s “poly” because his girlfriend supposedly wants an open relationship.

The bar bros celebrated the embarrassing confession with frat-style high-fives before Damon’s Kavanaugh suddenly dropped what he called a “top secret” bombshell, saying, “We’re gonna let Trump do a third term” — instantly sending Hegseth and Patel into full freak-out mode.