Aubrey Plaza is opening up in public about the heartache of her husband Jeff Baena‘s death for the first time — discussing the daily struggle of facing life after his loss earlier this year.

Speaking on Amy Poehler’s “Good Hang” podcast Tuesday, Aubrey said she’s showing up, functioning, and grateful to be moving through the world — and generally feeling OK at the moment.

Aubrey compared the complexities of her grief over her husband’s suicide to the movie “The Gorge,” about two snipers guarding a canyon, clueless about what’s lurking below — a haunting mirror of her own mourning.

Her grief, she said, feels like a massive, in-your-face ocean — sometimes she wants to dive right in, other times she wants to get away … but no matter what, it’s always there.

Jeff was found dead in his L.A. home in January.

TMZ first reported that Aubrey and Jeff had been separated for months, and cops say Jeff had a phone call with Aubrey the night before he was found.

Since Jeff’s tragic death, Aubrey’s been hard at work on a biopic about Heidi Fleiss.