J.D. Vance may never live down rumors that he got intimate with a piece of furniture … ’cause a group of hecklers called him out for being a “couch f***er” on Wednesday.

The Vice President of the United States stepped out with Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller … walking through Union Station in Washington, D.C. to pick up Shake Shack — more on that later.

No matter where he goes, VP Vance always has a few boo birds confronting him in the streets … and, here they screamed out about his alleged fornication with a couch.

Remember, a rumor — based on a bogus excerpt from Vance’s book “Hillbilly Elegy” — claimed J.D. Vance once had sex with a couch when he was a young man. The rumor caught fire online in the run-up to the election.

Of course, it’s a BS rumor … but, it hasn’t stopped people — like the assembled crowd in this clip — from calling him a “couch f***er” and telling him time and time again to “go f*** a couch.”

Vance takes it all in stride … but, he’s used to catching flak online — with memes galore populating the internet. Plus, remember when he pissed off cat women without kids last year?

The Veep probably had bigger fish to fry anyway … ’cause he was speaking to National Guard troops shortly after this video was taken — telling them to keep their spirits up while they free D.C. from lawlessness. Vance, Hegseth and Miller also brought the guardsmen burgers from Shake Shack.

Unclear if they’re hunting down alleged furniture fornicators … but, there’s a ton of people in D.C. who will be pointing Vance’s way if they are!