The Padres are down a pitcher … and this one’s a real pain in the rear.
San Diego knuckleballer Matt Waldron is out indefinitely after undergoing surgery for a hemorrhoid-related infection — yes, we’re talking about that area — and he’s been stuck in the hospital the past few days because of it.
“[Matt] had to have surgery to drain it and make it better,” Padres manager Craig Stammen told reporters Wednesday.
Well … to help with his recovery, a rep from Dude Wipes tells TMZ Sports they would be happy to send Waldron some of their fragrance-free, flushable hemorrhoid wipes, medicated with witch hazel for soothing relief.
They’re being given the VIP treatment in Dude Wipes’ warehouse, specially reserved for the right-handed hurler.
“Hemorrhoids are no laughing matter. We want to help!” the company told us.
The issue was initially described as “an infection in his rear end,” before it was clarified that the procedure was tied to hemorrhoids. Either way, it’s not exactly the kind of injury you see on a typical MLB report.
Stammen called Waldron’s recovery “week-to-week,” which puts his status for Opening Day in doubt. The knuckleballer had been in the mix for a starting rotation spot — but depending on how the incision heals and how he’s feeling moving around, that opportunity could slip away.
Safe to say … this is one comeback story that’ll come with plenty of cushion.
