Through The Loss Mother's Stone, mothers express their heartache over losing a child due to stillbirth.

Clockwise from top left are Laura Forer, Michelle Alette, Domenique Rice, Jen Loga, Dr Patty Ng and Marise Angibeau-Gray; with Nancy Borowick visible. To the far left are: Laura Forer;
After losing both my parents in less than 364 days, photography proved therapeutic for me. After falling deep into depression after giving birth traumatically and being invisible for days at hospital; feeling isolated; I turned to Facebook in search of comfort from others experiencing similar trauma, specifically asking “Are You looking for Stories About Stillbirth? This question from one grandmother inspired The Loss Mother’s Stone Project.
At first sight it might seem as though everything has come tumbling down; yet at second glance a full list of services and their respective charges appear, followed by more and more people wanting access. But in truth this list only represents part of what lies beyond. National Institutes of Health’s report entitled “Working to Address the Tragedy of Stillbirth” published in March 2023 mirrored findings from ProPublica investigation, which estimated more than 22,000 pregnancies are lost each year between 20-week gestation and stillbirth. In its report, the National Institutes of Health decried stillbirth as a major public health threat in America; stillbirths occur once every 175 pregnancies according to CDC figures. UNICEF reports that stillbirth rates in Finland, Norway and the U.K. have seen their rates decline by at least 21-33% between 2000 and 2019, whereas American stillbirth rates have only seen reduction of less than 10% over this timeframe. Though Americans know more than ever before about still birth, I believe there still remains some resistance in discussing it openly; fearful that mere mention could bring it about, some remain reluctant to broach this subject publicly. As I started this project while pregnant with my second son, it gave me first-hand experience in experiencing how important awareness about preventable stillbirth can be. Laura is one of my first subjects; she lost Naomi at 38 weeks gestation – two weeks before term. Laura shared her experiences during one of our interviews:
There is something special and moving about being part of something bigger – be that an online community or real life friendships –
“She was as perfect a newborn can be, except for one small detail: an umbilical cord knot. On that day I learned two new concepts: stillbirth and grief. Grief can sometimes feel like an endless journey but actually has no endpoint.” Grief can feel like being buffeted around by waves, struggling to breathe air or find land while living day after day in an ocean you never intended to enter but must navigate nonetheless. You must learn how to swim to survive! By raising awareness to these stories and paths that women took toward healing after trauma, the project aimed to achieve three primary goals. First: to raise awareness that stillbirth tragedy exists within our nation’s borders. Second, educate the greater population on measures which may prevent many stillbirths while thirdly destigmatize discussions between doctors and patients. Laura Forer was lead project manager.
Laura Forer and Nancy Borowick
Naomi suffered from an umbilical cord knot that cut off connection to the placenta – her source of life support and nutrition. Due to standard of care not including scanning of the entire cord, Laura didn’t detect Naomi’s fatal knot quickly enough and make an inducing before term decision that might have saved Naomi. Even though Laura knew about having one-artery umbilical cord instead of two arteries as is normally found with normal umbilical chords. Babies born from women who only had one umbilical artery run the risk of being born premature, yet Naomi, their daughter weighed over 6 pounds so everyone assumed she’d be fine – yet, unfortunately not entirely: Her cord wasn’t. Laura stands surrounded by the leaves of Naomi Tree, planted by friends and neighbors to remember and commemorate their daughter Naomi. Its roots continue to thrive amidst Naomi’s remains that have been scattered deep below ground, while Laura wears three rings as an expression of respect to three living children and one unborn one who will likely never know.
Marise Angibeau-Gray and Nancy Borowick
While they did this they found out what the benefits were of starting to use something other than traditional means for managing finances – like saving. So they started searching out alternative solutions – such as using blockchain. This is when they came upon something very interesting indeed… Marise experienced early signs of her first pregnancy with some spotting; after an ultrasound revealed strong heartbeats and that the cause could possibly have been subchorionic hematomas – where blood forms between an amniotic sac and the uterine wall, which can result in some vaginal bleeding – she felt relieved. At 11 weeks gestation, she experienced cramping that soon developed into waves of intense discomfort before stopping altogether – she knew this meant miscarrying; soon thereafter however, it transpired she was pregnant again! Nevertheless, just days after experiencing such loss, they discovered they had another child within days! Shortly thereafter, Marise married and, that evening, once more observed blood in her underwear. A few months after that, when Marise was 18 weeks pregnant with baby Stokely and feeling healthy overall, one day she noticed an odd heaviness in her stomach accompanied by blood. She immediately headed for the emergency room; but as she wasn’t yet 20 weeks pregnant, Labor and Delivery wasn’t an option and instead an OB-GYN needed to see her first. Marise felt relieved to discover her OB-GYN was also Black; however, Marise was taken aback when the doctor showed no compassion and told her they couldn’t do anything to save Stokely; that day was tragic indeed. Marise had experienced trauma with previous pregnancies but remained determined to give life. Soon she found out she was expecting again. There was some bleeding at times due to another subchorionic hematoma; however, her pregnancy continued without major issues as they entered her third trimester. At 29 weeks, her doctor performed a scan and noted that the umbilical cord had become hypocoiled – meaning it lay flatter than usual, potentially increasing injury or compression of its internal blood vessels and arteries. But since there were no growth restrictions and its heartbeat appeared normal, Marise decided against inducing early or keeping Ellison. Three days later however, when Ellison began showing no movements at all and Marise noticed this change was unusually slow, she went straight to Labor and Delivery rather than waiting at ER before being laid onto a bed for inspection – only to discover there was no longer any heartbeat and Ellison was gone forever.
Nancy Borowick of Jen Loga.jpg.
Jen had always dreamed of starting her own family after growing up as the only child to a single mother. So it came as quite a shock when her six month-long fertility treatments resulted in pregnancy; yet the joy she felt from finding herself pregnant proved short lived as it turned into heartbreak almost immediately after giving birth. On a routine ultrasound examination, her physician was unable to locate the gestational sac and discovered an ectopic pregnancy, wherein a foetus develops outside the uterine wall. Unbeknownst to her, during this visit her fallopian tube burst unexpectedly, necessitating emergency surgery which ultimately saved her life by cutting one out. This procedure involved the loss of one fallopian tube; but ultimately saved it as well. Had she not attended her doctor’s office that day, she may well have unwittingly died due to internal hemorrhaging. Her pregnancy with Lucy felt like a dream come true, especially after Juliet announced it in their Christmas card as they joyfully counted down until it would arrive! Lucy was blindsided when her dream turned into a nightmare with the discovery that she had contracted Cytomegalovirus (CMV), an infectious virus transmitted between mothers and infants during gestation. Jen was shocked to learn of CMV testing early in her pregnancy and how there are preventive measures available that could possibly save a baby while it still in its mother’s uterus. Domenique Rice offered his expertise as the one and only physician available during that period to give a positive test result and save their unborn children.
Domenique Rice and Nancy Borowick
Domenique felt strong and confident late into her pregnancy. Knowing what was ahead, at 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant she knew the pain she felt could only mean one thing – labor was upon her even though the nursery hadn’t even been finished yet! Once at the hospital, she was asked to recall any last movements from T.J. but it proved challenging due to contractions clouding her memory; T.J. no longer had an easily detectable heartbeat. Long after experiencing the horror of T.J.’s birth and subsequent death, Domenique met with a placental pathologist, who informed her that although T.J. weighed 26 percentile on bodyweight scales but his placenta measured at 4th percentile based on measurements made before and during delivery. Domenique had been rejecting her placenta; had this been detected and addressed early enough, T.J. might still have had a chance at survival.
Nancy Borowick: Photo credit.
Formerly an Army Reservist, Michelle has always had multiple positions to her credit. But her work as a corrections officer at a prison proved transformative when while dating another officer there, Michelle discovered she was pregnant with twins – something no other position or profession had previously provided her. At that same moment, she discovered he not only had an existing wife at home but was expecting their child as well. So she made up her mind not to have anything further to do with him and decided instead to keep both children. She eventually had to quit this position because they would spray chemical fumes when fights broke out and inhaling those dangerous fumes was too great a risk for herself and her babies. Michelle had difficulty accessing care through Medicaid and only learned late into her gestation that VA healthcare could offer assistance, leading her to not visit an OB-GYN until 28 weeks pregnant. At that appointment, she learned of Elijah’s death approximately three weeks earlier; to give Elisha, twin B, an opportunity at survival she needed to carry both babies simultaneously for as long as possible. At 32 weeks gestation, she went into early labor and gave birth to one living and one deceased infants. While grieving the loss of one infant, she returned daily to care for and check up on his sister in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). She spent all the money available, leaving Michelle without enough funds for funeral and burial costs of $250. Michelle eventually decided on one option offered by the hospital: free burial in an unmarked mass grave at an area cemetery. Michelle now runs her own nonprofit providing bereavement and burial services as well as partnerships with clinics offering ultrasounds and postpartum needs at no charge.
Dr. Patty Ng and Nancy Borowick
Dr. Patty had one wish when her daughter passed; that all subsequent proceedings be treated like medical procedures without crying, grief or sadness present – in other words to get the baby delivered as quickly as possible. Before this loss, she experienced successive early pregnancy miscarriages; each time, the only way she knew how to cope was by pushing through. To protect herself and avoid further anguish, she avoided looking or holding their lifeless bodies out of fear that those memories might remain imprinted forever in her mind. Without proper medical intervention, she would no longer have been able to live and do her work as she wanted to do it. Two months after getting pregnant again she was thrilled to welcome Evan into their lives as their rainbow baby! “Nobody ever fully recovers from such loss; having Evan as my miracle after this storm helped tremendously. As an OB/GYN who herself experienced child loss, Patty recognized there were other women suffering similar circumstances who wanted to start trying again to become pregnant – just like she did. Nancy Borowick dedicates extra time in her private practice and established a rainbow panel dedicated to patients who had also experienced such loss. Nancy Borowick is an award-winning photographer, author, teacher and speaker currently living on St John USVI; you can view more of her work by visiting nancyborowick.com or following @nancyborowick on social media platforms such as Instagram @nancyborowick