Six Phrases You May Unknowingly Harass Fat People

As a rule, phrases that offend groups of people should never be tolerated within any respectful and caring group of individuals. Words which demean certain demographics have come to be frowned upon even as jokes; but that rule seems not to apply so strictly when discussing fat-shaming. Many still use offensive phrases without realizing (or caring) about how offensive they might be. According to Tigress Osborn, Board Chair of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, our associations between eating habits and body types and historical ideas about racism and white purity. Osborn suggested that white Christian purity and what it meant to be a “good woman” meant being self-controlled when it comes to eating habits, controlling one’s body, etc. He further indicated how self-control allowed individuals to distinguish themselves from Black and Indigenous communities by showing self-discipline as one means of differentiation from them. “Our ideas about why fat is bad and gross are often tied back to racist, eugenicist ideas about body structure and food behavior,” stated she. Additionally, these offensive terms have long been part of a diet culture in society as whole. Experts share what are common anti-fat phrases are and ways you can be more sensitive in using language:’You look great since losing weight! Congratulations’ (you look thinner now than when you started). “‘You look great since losing weight,” is often our immediate reaction when someone loses weight,” according to Christine Byrne of Ruby Oak Nutrition in Raleigh, North Carolina. Byrne provides expert eating disorder dietitian services at Ruby Oak Nutrition for adults as well as adolescents, providing expert nutritional services at her health center for eating disorder treatment and rehabilitation. Byrne states it is never appropriate or considered acceptable to comment upon another’s body size without giving adequate context, particularly without asking their consent first. She adds, first off all. “That they look better simply due to being smaller is problematic”. “Byrne then states you should never comment upon someone’s body size; and second of all it would just be rude without prior consultation or context being given first. “People lose weight for various reasons; many can be harmful.” She explained. Byrne suggested that individuals suffering from weight loss could have several causes; such as an acute illness, eating disorder or serious illness that’s contributing to it; severe anxiety that impacts eating habits; and extreme anxiety which limits food choices as factors. Unfortunately, however, most who lose weight ultimately gain it back. “Allow me to tell you something: when that happens, which it likely will, all that does is cause more suffering for them and bring shame onto themselves and everyone around them,” she stated. ‘You are not fat; you are beautiful.” According to Ivy Felicia, a body image expert and certified wellness coach. One popular phrase she recommends using is telling someone they’re beautiful as an affirmation if they comment that they feel fat. “This statement comes across as being more critical of someone,” Felicia stated. Fat and beautiful can co-exist within one body at the same time; yet this reaction implies it cannot. Another version is when someone refers to themselves as fat but is told “Oh no you aren’t,” Osborn noted. “Clearly I am overweight; so you may be telling me not to say such horrible things about myself; however, what I am telling you is it is one of many attributes about who I am,” Osborn elaborated. This tactic allows “people nice their way into an unintended insult”, according to Osborn. “I’m having a cheat day.” Diet culture can be found everywhere – be it social media posts from influencers touting green juice or diet pills; supermarket shelves; or grocery store aisles filled with “healthier”, lower calorie and carb food options. According to Osborn, one term from dieter culture that’s often mentioned is “cheat day.” A cheat day refers to “the idea that there’s one universally right way of eating and that one day per month you can indulge more recklessly,” Osborn explained. Cheat days also introduce moralistic language into eating behavior: “Osborn cautioned that “cheat day” implies you can only treat yourself once every so often to indulgent foods without risking weight gain, leading her to think it was “really troubling”. “‘I’m going to indulge a little today with my cookie”, was one such phrase used during Osborn’s remarks about this phrase implying an imminent health problem if one indulges. “‘Cheat Day” can become problematic once used consistently over time.” Osborn pointed out the ways we approach food and weight today are driven by centuries-old practices intended to pit one community against the next, intentionally trying to place them against each other. Reflecting racist ideas behind anti-fat attitudes, Osbon said this phrase translated to: ‘I won’t become like those people by eating cookies, pizza slices or cupcakes that may or may not be considered healthy – they shouldn’t feel guilty or think eating what they desire is bad; rather they should stop thinking in this manner.” Food doesn’t have a moral value. When sick, we might feel guilty but at the same time remind ourselves “at least you’ll feel slimmer tomorrow”. Have you heard someone mention or think to themselves “At least it won’t get any worse tomorrow?,” well that may have been them or us thinking this ourselves when suffering through flu or cold symptoms? Tegan Lecheler, an active member-at-large with the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, stated this phrase she often hears after someone has come down with flu or COVID. Lecheler acknowledged this phrase can be problematic for various reasons; yet ultimately these diseases have very severe long-term impacts on one’s wellbeing. “Feeling skinny after being sick can often be seen as the upside to being sick – which is deeply problematic. No one should ever needlessly suffer in order to achieve some artificial ideal of beauty set by society.” ‘I feel fat’ are often expressed feelings which should never lead to physical suffering of any sort.” Osborn insists, however, that body size should never be seen as something subjective to feel; “it’s physicality not emotion.” Osborn noted that when people say, “I feel fat”–an all-too-common phrase–they may actually be using fat as an acronym for feeling negative emotions such as self-hatred, Osborn explained that using “thin” instead is used to signal feeling good or better than other people. What should you do if someone uses words which objectify your weight–shaming? –? These phrases have become part of society so it’s likely you may encounter someone using one soon. “It is essential that everyone be aware that not everyone feels confident pushing back against this type of rhetoric, due to fatphobia in society,” Byrne pointed out. Pushback can also be dangerous in certain instances, thus prompting her to note it’s essential that individuals protect their mental and physical well-being when engaging in these discussions. Byrne stressed: “Nobody owes you an explanation if someone makes fat-shaming comments directed towards you that makes you uncomfortable in any situation,” Byrne advised. “If you are thin and are hearing comments that appear to be fat-shaming, perhaps speaking up would be easier. “Byrne suggested the following responses, noting that using “I feel” and “I don’t” statements as more comfortable approaches:”Hey, that is an anti-fat comment; this isn’t cool!”; or:”I just prefer not discussing my or anyone else’s bodies negatively.” “”I realized I felt better when I stopped criticizing both my body and other people’s bodies, including when worrying less about food choices or restricting intake. Additionally, when talking about bodies directly instead of generally, my feelings improved significantly.”” Byrne recommended leaving or changing the subject abruptly if needed to diffuse fat-shaming comments immediately, and Lecheler stressed it’s OK if something happened that left one without knowing how best to react in that moment. We Need Your SupportOther news outlets have gone behind paywalls; therefore we rely heavily on reader support in our fight back against fat-shaming comments that come our way. At HuffPost, we believe journalism should be available and free for everyone. Can you help provide essential news to our readers during this critical time? Without your support we could not keep doing what we do! Can’t afford a donation right now? Click here and don’t feel pressured into giving. Support HuffPost by creating a free account and signing in while reading. 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Please make your contribution here today; already given? Thank you so much. Support HuffPost Log into Facebook to delete these messages and Lecheler suggests speaking with someone before entering an environment where someone might be weight-shamed (like holiday dinners), such as asking what their desired response should be should that situation arises. Furthermore, Lecheler advised if someone ever thinks or says things such as: If these phrases seem harmful but embedded into society — even mistaken for polite responses — try stopping yourself. These things shouldn’t be said! All this makes it challenging to remove these words from our vocabulary and thought processes, yet it is vital that we make an effort. “The central question for those using phrases which smear body or food groups, should be what do these really mean?” Osborn asked. Perhaps these people don’t actually mean what they are implying by such statements in relation to other humans in the community? If this does become apparent for any person within that environment.