“It virtually appeared like she was strolling on clouds that day,” says Maren Sheldon, twin sister of the late breast most cancers campaigner, Kris Hallenga.
Maren is remembering the “dwelling FUNeral” her sister had organised final 12 months in Truro Cathedral in Cornwall.
For the event, Kris wore a sequinned high with “YODO” on the again – You Solely Die As soon as – and earrings within the form of the poo emoji – a nod to her printed handbook for dwelling entitled “Glittering a Turd”.
Visitors had been wearing sparkly sequins, a 20-piece orchestra raised the roof and Daybreak French – because the Vicar of Dibley – gave a sermon on the lectern.
You could possibly write your lovely ideas about Kris on a cardboard coffin and assist your self to a toy cat to cuddle – simply as Kris relied on her personal cat, Woman Marmalade, for consolation.
After the speeches, there was a disco, partying and tequila photographs.
“It was superb, it was the very best day of her life, as she mentioned,” remembers Maren.
“I believe lots of people say their weddings are the very best days of their life, or the day that their kids are born. She did not have both of these events in her life, so I assume her ‘FUNeral’ was for her that day.”
“She was so completely satisfied and so nicely at the moment, too. I am so glad she selected to do it then, earlier than she acquired unwell.”
Scenes from the event characteristic within the new BBC2 documentary: Living Every Second: The Kris Hallenga Story – which is broadcast on 1 October.
Kris died in Might this 12 months on the age of 38. She had been recognized with terminal breast most cancers 15 years in the past and went on to discovered the breast most cancers consciousness charity CoppaFeel with Maren.
The charity inspired younger folks to verify their breasts and campaigned to get most cancers consciousness onto the college curriculum.
On the age of twenty-two, Kris had gone to the GP with what she described as a “lumpy boob”, however was advised it was nothing to fret about and more likely to be hormonal. When she was lastly recognized, a 12 months later, the most cancers had already unfold to her backbone. She additionally later developed mind tumours.
Her late prognosis made Kris decided to stop the identical factor taking place to anybody else. CoppaFeel was her best achievement and her message continues to avoid wasting lives every day, Maren says.
In 2013, Kris made a movie for BBC Three and, over the next decade, continued to permit the cameras into her life.
The brand new BBC Two movie tells her story – from her early years to her remaining days – surrounded by Maren, Woman Marmalade and her buddies.
“She would not need us to look again and assume how tragic all of it is, as a result of that is not the way it was,” says Maren.
Kris was eager for dying to be a dialog alongside dwelling, says her sister, however the movie – a celebration of Kris’s life – exhibits her “in all of her colors”, she says, and with all the issues that meant a lot to her.
“It was concerning the easy issues as nicely and it is the contentment in her life that she was so eager for folks to know,” Maren explains.
“There was nothing left unsaid and nothing left undone, which I believe is a fairly excellent spot to succeed in if you’re on the finish of your life.”
Kris wished folks to deal with every thing she had achieved in these 38 years, says Maren. She modified the language we use round most cancers and made it extra accessible and never scary, she provides.
“She was this beacon of hope for thus many individuals, particularly folks with secondary diagnoses,” says Maren.
“I assume she was an anomaly in that she lived for 15 years. Nevertheless it’s not inconceivable. I believe even when you aren’t getting 15 years, her level was that there is life within the years that you’ve and to not waste a second on issues that don’t spark pleasure.”
Whereas breast most cancers consciousness has improved and society has grow to be extra open about speaking about our our bodies, says Maren, the issue has not gone away.
“The very fact is that it is a treatable illness, however must be caught at a treatable stage.”
Maren is now navigating a brand new life with out Kris, which she says has made her realise how a lot she relied on her sister, and the way a lot she wanted her.
She is at present within the technique of organising an exhibition in East London about Kris and the story of CoppaFeel.
Kris left it as much as her to determine what would occur to her physique after she died, says Maren.
“I believe partly the explanation I made a decision to go along with cremation, is, that approach, I may unfold her [ashes] in all of the locations that meant quite a bit to her and to us and to different folks,” she provides.
At some point, after internet hosting a dinner with some buddies to honour Kris and the courageous conversations she had, Maren spontaneously felt the time was proper to scatter a few of them.
“We had been going to get within the sea, as a result of that is what we at all times do – we dwell in Cornwall and we simply love getting within the sea – and that was already a part of the plan.”
She requested her buddies how they felt “about taking a bit shot glass of Kris into the ocean” with them, which everybody wished to do.
Kris at all times felt at residence within the sea, says Maren.
“It simply felt very nice to have her there with us as we did that.”
Life is like the ocean, in some ways, generally it may be tough, different occasions, peaceable and calm. However it’s Kris who summed up the fantastic thing about dwelling each second of it in a speech she gave to the congregation at her “FUNeral”.
“You see the factor about dying is,” mentioned Kris, it is “so terribly remaining, whereas life – life is stuffed with alternatives. So let’s seize these alternatives, let’s dwell totally, love deeply and make right this moment rely”.
Living Every Second: The Kris Hallenga Story shall be broadcast on Tuesday 1 October at 21:00 BST on BBC Two and BBC iPlayer.
In case you are affected by any of the problems raised on this story, help and recommendation is accessible through the BBC Action Line.