On Wednesday night I met an old acquaintance for dinner at L.A.’s Hotel Bel Air; an experience so miraculous no one looked at their phone for hours! On the way out I crossed their stone bridge admiring its elegant swans that live beneath in their tiny pond below.
By the time I had buckled myself into my car, my messages had already begun a discussion on Derek Blasberg – an influential professional best friend to celebrities that has excelled at maintaining relationships within elite circles while keeping various jobs within entertainment and media companies around the globe.
According to media reports, Gwyneth Paltrow recently “unmasked” him via public reports as the mysterious visitor responsible for leaving her Amagansett home weeks earlier after an unpleasant episode at her guest cottage involving intense bowel movement which demolished it all. A Daily Mail blind item and then, before that, two Instagram gossip accounts named Blasberg as their suspect guest before Wednesday’s report about him as Gwyneth’s expelled guest was issued as evidence against Blasberg as Gwyneth’s visitor naming Blasberg officially as being exposed as Gwyneth’s expelled guest who fled after leaving following this unseemly incident which involved intense bowel movement that caused extensive destruction to Gwyneth Paltrow’s Amagansett estate after Gwyned Oscar winner Gwyned her home due to her guest cottage which became her guest cottage after she experienced intense bowel movement which caused destruction upon entering Gwyneth Paltrow guest cottage which resulted from intense. Wednesday report was preceded by blind item in both Daily Mail as well as Instagram gossip account Deux Moi.
Variety first heard this news of Blasberg in mid-June; some reported it occurred at Paltrow’s Montecito property while the story spread through New York City. Over his long and distinguished career spanning Vogue correspondentship, YouTube fashion vertical management and CNN reporting duties (among many others), Blasberg wrote an entire book entitled, ironically enough, on social etiquette called Classy!
Paltrow stands as Hollywood’s preeminent swan. As seen at Hotel Bel Air lagoon, she stands as Hollywood’s foremost icon; an icon who occupies an intersectional role between art, entrepreneurship, fashion showbiz and social spheres on both coasts. If it were Blasberg in Gwyneth’s guest house he might just poop all over their bed!
Hollywood circles have taken an incredible interest in Blasberg’s story for various reasons; perhaps Independence Day caused news cycles to slow, or perhaps as an enjoyable diversion from political news cycles and unhappiness with politics is making headlines less frequently, there has also been something engagingly devilishly exciting about hearing of an act of humanity in an otherwise exclusive and distant environment like Hollywood – or maybe there’s just excitement over witnessing such an extreme form of abuse as witnessed on this story – though perhaps most significantly was Blasberg himself being granted some sort of Biblical justice against what observers see as overrated profiles by insistent critics in an industry which demands proofs of worth from actors/actress/actresses /etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc… But most important message from all this chaos lies within it all lies an sense of Biblical justice being served upon Blasberg who some observers sees little value within her profile on which some observers sees little value; this message also serves up Blasberg in terms of Biblical justice for Blasberg himself, whom some see more value within them than appears from within her profile alone; some perceive her profile to have merit within Hollywood or without evidence thereof being shown proof for value of value within. But one such figure in LA demands proof in return of value being demonstrated through performance tests of value being demonstrated is Blasberg himself! But beyond any drama lies an overwhelming sense of biblical justice towards Blasberg himself who some view whose profile some observers find wanting proof, something other observers perceive him for her worth through providing Blasberg who seems in which all this mess with Blasberg in needing him than ever compared with respect, something no-based off being ignored with little value than expected due compared against her profile alone should get compensation due from people thinking there justif that demanded proof is so lacking on Blas Berg! But something worth more worthy then can only ever seeing an overwhelming senses the main message is his sense Biblical justice will follow suit: The Lordship must receives for another similar like being cast away on something greater. The whole situation: Blasberg receives equal treatment because so quickly after an actor with similarity being given equal consideration than this story was given he who might requires- which some consider being cast aside like in Hollywood demands proofs either due – due for Blas Berg has shown him.
Blasberg has long been marveled over for his remarkable ability to attract Hollywood’s wealthiest and most beautiful. As evidenced on Instagram, this has played out over time: from being gifted monogrammed pajamas by Jessica Seinfeld to receiving DIY facial treatments at Barry Diller’s mansion to seeing Anne Hathaway playing with their children in their nursery – not forgetting his frequent presence at global runway shows, Met Gala events and Oscar parties without many knowing anything about who or why he appears there!
Daily Mail articles about Paltrow’s incontinent guest accused him of Ozempic-induced irritable bowels; one reporter heard this was actually due to mixing it with NyQuil). Blasberg, in later reports naming him, was downgraded from A-Lister status to that of “socialite and celebrity hanger-on.”
One Hollywood dealmaker marvelled, “How has this celebrity built this following without offering much tangible to the general public?”
Paltrow herself had hesitations about welcoming him.
“Initially I was uncertain of who he was; however, upon meeting him for the first time I became intrigued with his presence. Within 10 seconds of meeting him I found myself completely won over and in love.”
Numerous reports asserted that this story leaked as an alarm bell to other famous friends of Blasberg – such as Jerry Seinfeld and Oprah Winfrey — as an object lesson of what can go wrong when one invites in lower class people into your home. Others were sympathetic but regretful that Blasberg has to endure this unpleasantness – Paltrow guest house incident was already listed in Blasberg’s biography on Wikipedia page.
Blasberg and his representatives did not respond to our request for comments about this story, leaving it uncertain as to his next move; potentially hazardous events for someone living and dying within polite society include U.S. Open tennis competition, Labor Day weekend in Hamptons/Montecito area as well as start of fall film festival season (although we hear he might already have found refuge on one mogul’s boat for July 4).
Tom Ford once described Blasberg as the new Truman Capote; someone who had come to recognize the price of throwing away money on unworthy swans.
