"Raising My Child In The Netherlands Has Been Something Unexpected for Me

Think Netherlands and imagine canals, tulips and biking everywhere as your first thoughts; Americans tend to gravitate toward this nation for these same reasons. Over 31,000 American residents now call the Netherlands home, accounting for roughly six percent of its overall immigrant population and increasing over time. I was drawn in by its picturesque beauty; which the Netherlands certainly provided in abundance. What I wasn’t prepared for was how this country would bring peace into a decision I wasn’t comfortable making: having children. For some time, having kids caused such anxiety that instead I focused on building my career and business. I wasn’t prepared for how effortlessly raising a child here would feel natural, so here are a few unexpected lessons about parenting here. At 30 Weeks Pregnant, Riding Bicycles: My First Midwife AppointmentImagine my surprise upon entering my first midwife appointment and seeing an array of pregnant women riding bikes around them with bulging bellies much bigger than mine – even while biking! I quickly took notice and began searching online to locate more likeminded preganant riders before leaving home on my bicycle for my appointment with them! As soon as I thought about pregnancy, my mind conjured images of morning sickness, restful evenings at home and counting down until week 40; but that has not been my experience here. Instead, I joined a cycling crew who regularly biked me to midwife appointments until my legs couldn’t take anymore. Yes, my pregnancy went relatively smoothly; however, in Holland gestation is generally accepted as part of life with doctors, midwives, and coworkers all treating it pragmatically. My experience shows me that most people don’t perceive you as fragile; rather they urge you to listen to yourself, make informed choices for yourself and adapt as necessary. Women around the globe celebrate pregnancy as part of life and not as medical condition, explained Andrea Hamlet, an international board-certified lactation consultant from California who’s resided in the Netherlands for six years and practices lactation consulting there, to HuffPost. Pregnancy here is seen as natural process rather than medical issue.” “Living abroad meant I was able to relax like never before, unlike at home.” Postnatal Care And Parental Leave living overseas often means not having family nearby for support during your pregnancies – that is why postnatal care in the Netherlands can truly be lifesaving! As new parents adjust to life with a baby, kraamzorg nurses offer support by visiting every day after birth for approximately seven days to assist in feeding, bathing and understanding your newborn’s signals – as well as handling household duties – so you can focus on healing and bonding together with your new family member. In addition, parental leave makes long-term adjustments more manageable while you focus on enjoying parenthood together. In the Netherlands, mothers can take at least 16 weeks of paid maternity leave (6 before and 10 post). Both parents share 26 weeks of parental leave; nine of those weeks paid at 70% income share. Paid leave can be utilized within the first year of a child’s birth. At birth, families receive two years’ unpaid parental leave; from then on they can tailor it as necessary. Furthermore, The Netherlands also provides financial support for parents of young children. Parents of newborn children may receive up to 282 euros quarterly to help with basic expenses; tax credits are also available to reduce child care costs. One of the many surprises of living or raising children here is seeing just how independent children can be. At first thought, sending their child off alone to walk to school or use public transit may send chills through any parent. But many studies show otherwise: those leaving children alone often end up doing much better academically, leading more fulfilling lives overall and living healthier lifestyles overall than when left on their own. However, in the Netherlands it is the norm for children to become self-reliant early and the community fully endorses it. Sim Sawyers, an American mother and photographer living in Amsterdam immediately noticed this difference between cultures. “[In the U.S.], children don’t typically take public transit or walk to school – everything is car-oriented and dependent upon parents for transportation; which can feel both restrictive and unsafe at times. Even as teenagers, this often forces parents into driving them places, which may pose additional limitations or safety threats.” “Here, I love how much freedom children are afforded – it helps develop independence.” Hamlet expressed her satisfaction watching her son explore freely: he could meet friends at movies or go for drinks after school before cycling over to an ice rink for skates or skating lessons! ” He’s almost 14 and I am thankful he can experience what I did during the 1980s–in an environment free from drugs, drunk driving or guns. Traffic safety remains my only primary concern here in North Dakota. As soon as you arrive in this community, one thing becomes immediately obvious – how integrated children are into everyday life! Family-friendly spaces and an unjudgmental approach towards parenting children have been integrated seamlessly into daily living here. UNICEF’s biennality study ranks the Netherlands among the highest nations for child happiness, mental health and safety. This can be attributed in large part to the welcoming, encouraging environment that parents experience here, which spans all aspects of society. From my observations, there’s an unspoken understanding that everyone involved in parenting decisions are doing their best and judgment of parenting choices rarely takes place. Hamlet described this experience as being “such a relief”, because she no longer felt judged by other parents. “I love how family-oriented this country is,” she told HuffPost. The community rallies around families: high-end cafes and neighborhood restaurants alike offer child-friendly environments containing high chairs, play areas, and menu items specifically targeted towards them. Parks provide ample safe spaces where children can freely explore. Even within bustling cities like Atlanta or Pittsburgh, parks are plentiful – in fact there’s one on almost every block! As Sawyers noted. “Walk into any high-end cafe and you might find four high chairs and an entire bookshelf full of games for children in the back – something most wouldn’t expect!” She went on to praise their inclusive environment: “Other news outlets have hidden behind paywalls; We Need Your Support At HuffPost, we believe journalism should be accessible and free for everyone. Would you help provide important news and analysis during this crucial time for our readers? Without your contribution we couldn’t keep doing what we do! Can’t afford a contribution yet? 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Already contributed? Thanks again. Log in now to hide these messages! The acceptance and focus on children makes parenthood much simpler, creating an inclusive community for families. I am extremely thankful we made this move to a community which puts emphasis on happiness, independence, well-being and inclusivity – it has greatly eased our journey as parents while giving me greater flexibility when raising my child in accordance with my values and principles.