Doing Your Part - How Should Parents Support Young Football Stars?

Finding an equal balance between supporting your child in reaching their potential while not becoming overbearing parent is always challenging, let alone when dealing with dreams of playing professional football and potentially life-altering riches. At what point should pushiness become too pushy? “I leave everything up to them; my decisions rest solely with them.” James sees himself as having done his job of supporting Reece and Lauren through school, university and into employment where they can pay their own bills. If Reece or Lauren choose to play or not is up to them and their club; should they need or want someone else, I am available if needed.” If they wish to discuss it further with me they do so directly with me or their club officials. If they don’t, I know only one thing for certain; that I helped them secure an incredible opportunity! “James recognized early on his children were talented; however, he refused to get carried away until they started playing first-team football – this happened because opportunities came along that supported players with playing positions becoming available and coaches trusted their judgement as needed for that breakthrough to occur.” “I have witnessed talented kids pass through academy systems only to end up without anything at the end,” says Devanney. “Guidance and luck play their parts too – people putting faith into you as much as anyone.” “When talking about academy systems, this only represents part of elite society. “While it can be elite while developing, eventually someone must believe enough in you to put you into their first team and give them trust to play for them. He has seen first-hand both positive and negative influences of parents can have on their child’s prospects.” “There have been those who have flourished not just through talent alone; their parents also played an enormous part. Working together was always enjoyable for all parties involved,” states Hesson. “Parents who think they understand it or think they know better should avoid trying to direct what clubs should do… People want to become footballers not because they dream about appearing at World Cup tournaments or appearing on Match of the Day; rather they dream about becoming players because football provides lifestyle benefits like houses and cars… This should never happen on its own”. Parents, his advice states, should focus on helping their kids enjoy football but prioritize school education from day one as the only sure bet.” According to James. “No matter your talent or potential, don’t set your heart on becoming a footballer; ultimately it comes down to someone else making that call. “Myles Lewis-Skelly makes contact with Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta during a pre-season friendly [Getty Images]. Marcia Lewis would surely agree. Myles Lewis-Skelly, 17, spent part of this summer touring with Arsenal in America while also studying A levels. Lewis notes that education has always been paramount and his family have often had to say no to football due to this, with clubs always being respectful of these choices. “He isn’t an Arsenal first-teamer; he is only in their academy team, so hasn’t made it yet,” states Lewis. “However, that doesn’t necessarily mean his dream as a professional footballer will come true in the long run. “He believes in himself and we support him; however, reality bites. Now is not just competing against 10,000 kids from academies but multimillion-pound players globally. Myles joined Arsenal as an Under-9s player but, even by age 11, Lewis began receiving calls from agents and brands wanting to sponsor him without informing Myles first of these approaches or where she could seek advice.” Unbelievably, she completed both a master’s degree in football business and licensed Fifa agent examinations to further comprehend its inner workings. Now she operates No1Fan.club as well as podcast series Behind the Boots that serve to offer support network for parents navigating youth football while showing alternative pathways within it. “Parents want an inside glimpse of an academy; their children have been scouted; what does that mean?” They offer one-on-one chats, Q&A sessions, workshops for both public and academy attendees that are designed by parents for parents. “We bring in grassroots parents wanting a glimpse of what life in an academy looks like – something our workshops help provide,” states their website. Lewis notes she had an overall positive experience with Myles but understands not every young player can transition into professional playing careers. Lewis acknowledges it can be intimidating knowing which questions to pose but this platform aims to ensure they feel at ease navigating that environment. “Parents face difficulties across various aspects of parenting,” according to Lewis. This could range from finding it hard to communicate with their academy manager or agent to searching out an attorney with enough sports law experience who could aid with matters on that side of things. “This environment can be so daunting; without an official guidebook to follow and so much can go amiss. All we are hearing here are whispered conversations on the sidelines, hearsay from fans: ‘That person has an agent, is playing up and going on tour while my kid was left out; my child played different positions but is only a striker.” “Much of what causes our internal anxiety comes from not having sufficient knowledge or guidance on certain topics. For some families, their efforts extend far beyond chasing after their child’s dreams but towards creating an entirely different social and economic landscape.” “With more knowledge about the industry and its potential riches, this has changed its dynamics dramatically,” notes Lewis, noting some parents view football as their child’s lottery ticket. Lewis notes, however, that football remains an enjoyable hobby unless one starts getting paid to do it professionally. “‘I haven’t spoken to my dad for 25 years’Sonny Pike has created his own training pitch and indoor facility to host private coaching sessions [Getty Images]Sonny Pike knows all too well what this feeling entails from both sides: as soon as Pike turned 15, his name became one that everyone recognized – in schoolyards across London alone his reputation was unparalleled. “Pike was so immersed in football,” states his stepbrother. “You want the best, so pushing harder can sometimes backfire on us all. At 18, Pike felt done with playing. He passed The Knowledge, London taxi drivers’ prerequisite knowledge test, and became a taxi driver without ever watching or playing football or soccer for 10 years until one of Beau’s cousins came over one afternoon wanting to play together. “That was the first time football was mentioned in our house,” says his partner, “so it needed to happen organically – I didn’t want my whole thing affecting him directly or forcing football on him directly. Now things seem to have come full circle.” Pike no longer drives his taxi but runs a private coaching school and Beau has signed with Leyton Orient at age 10. Pike’s experiences have informed how he approaches parenting his two boys: “Anything I say must be positive; let him pursue whatever path suits him best. Let him explore.” “My approach with him is simple; to create an atmosphere where he feels free to come talk directly with me about how he’s doing rather than me telling him where his errors lie.” To create the best atmosphere possible for my client and for himself. I strive to remain on an equal playing field; making his life less intimidating.” Pike offers one-on-one and small group coaching sessions designed to aid both youngsters and their parents, sharing his extensive footballing knowledge to assist both. He emphasizes the difficulties involved with turning professional. There will be much hard work required – Pike states this clearly.” “To become one of the premier players, one will need to push themselves. There will undoubtedly be times that are hard, yet 50% of the time should see good development with him enjoying football and progressing steadily; 25% might see him struggling while another 25% love it all the same! “Others might disagree; what matters more than anything is that a child enjoys his football. “Pike receives numerous inquiries from parents seeking guidance. He often finds himself having to explain his own story as well as curb some who place unreasonable expectations upon children as young as three or four.” He recommends parents observe the “five-minute rule” after matches: talk for five minutes about any topic related to academy systems involving children aged seven, eight, nine or 10 before moving on with your day. “Many conversations focus on kids meant to become wonderkids at this age group.” “Once they hit 15 or 16 – including me – you often hear stories about how they’re mentally struggling and exhausted, yet don’t want their parents to worry too much. So I try and prewarn parents in advance by leaving it up to them to lead this part. At most I just offer guidance.” “You will sometimes tell them home truths that are uncomfortable for them, without completely belittling them down to nothing. Pike emphasizes his goal with Beau and other players under his supervision is “setting good standards that serve them both on the football field and off” regardless of if or when they become football players themselves. Either way, at the end of it all they will still have been helped.